So I'm in Florida right now and my internet access is off and on. The wedding this past weekend was great. Here's my fantabulous best man speech, which I happened to type up on my laptop at around 4:30am the morning of the wedding:
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Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
I'd like to introduce myself. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Steve Kurian. For those of you who do know me, well I apologize.
I wasn't really quite sure why Aju picked me to be his best man. There are five of us friends who grew up back in Tampa together, all of whom you could say were just as close to one another as any group of brothers, biological or otherwise. The best reason that I could think of for Aju choosing me to be his best man was that I'd be able to say the most about him while also doing the least amount of irreparable damage.
I grew up with Aju back in our hometown of Tampa, Florida. And, for one adventure-filled year, I was also his college room-mate.
When Aju first told me that he and Anu were getting married, my first reaction was...."Aju, that's terrible...ANU'S YOUR SISTER!!!"
And then after some more careful explanation, my second reaction was "Great, Aju, marry her quick...she's bound to get her eyesight back sooner or later."
I've known Anu for roughly two years now, and I'd like to say that Anu is an absolutely wonderful girl. She's beautiful and intelligent, not to mention an incredibly warm and friendly person. She is someone that is perfect for Aju, and, having known Aju since as far back as I can remember, I know Anu is the kind of girl Aju has always dreamed of.
Aju has been like a brother to me. Brothers don't always get along and brothers can be very competitive with one another. I can honestly say that Aju has always been such a runaway success in all that he's done, that he's always challenged me to push myself to acheive more and more beyond my own expectations of myself.
Aju has always been intelligent and articulate. He is always up for an in-depth conversation about politics, religion, philosophy, or just plain life in general. Aju is someone I find myself going to for advice quite frequently, and every now and then, some of that advice is actually good.
Today, Aju, I'd like to offer you some advice, on this your wedding day.
Now, I know that I'm an obnoxiously single guy, and I'm probably the WORST person in the world to offer advice on ANYTHING, much less the married life. But, I know you, Aju, and as far as I know, I'm the only person in this hall today other than Anu who actually VOLUNTEERED to live with you.
First of all, Aju, when I roomed with you, I found you on several occasions watching cartoons at 2 in the afternoon, while eating cereal in your boxer shorts. I found it a little disconcerting, and I'm sure Anu won't find it the least bit attractive.
Second of all, I bear witness to the intricasies of the Aju Jacob diet. Remember that, Man was not made to live on cereal, noodles, and dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets alone. Now that you're married, take Anu someplace nice and expensive to eat, once in a while.
And last of all, I'd to recall a short episode from my time living with Aju. I'm quite sure Aju has since forgotten this. The year I lived with Aju, I didn't have a car, and if I wanted to actually buy food for myself I had to wait for Aju to drive me to the grocery store when he was driving for himself. And I must say generally Aju was always very gracious in allowing me to tag along. However, one week, I must have ate too much or budgeted my supplies poorly, because all I had left in the fridge to call my own was a loaf of bread and a box of baking soda. So, I asked Aju, "hey buddy, do you think I might be able to borrow a spoon or two of that jar of peanut butter I see you have in the fridge?" And much to my chagrin, Aju's answer was "No Steve, that's MY peanut butter!!!" Perhaps I embellish a little bit. But Aju, I'd just like to let you know that, it's ok...you can share your peanut butter with Anu.
Now,
Aju and Anu, I wish you the happiest of days with one another. I speak for all of your friends, when I say that we expect nothing but greatness from the two of you. I love you both, and I pray that God blesses you both abundantly, so that, years from now, you can both look back and say that today, your wedding day, was the day you loved each other the least. Thank you.
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Well...people actually did laugh at my jokes